I woke up this morning feeling a little more tender, a little more weak in spirit, and a little more vulnerable than I had during the weekend. I felt pretty strong all things considered on Saturday and Sunday. I prepared a new theme and a new workshop for Finetown on Saturday. Our family enjoyed a leisurely morning and afternoon visit with friends. I felt at peace. Then I had a couple of nightmares last night. I woke up shaken. Just like that.
What did I do in response?
I prayed. I rehearsed in my mind all of the ways that the nightmares were untrue and unrealistic. I set my heart and mind on truth and not fear. It’s amazing to me though how a couple of dreams can tip my emotions.
I finished up my rock word study last week and considered what kind of study to do next. As I read through my bible during this study, I found that the Rock centered upon Christ and my posture to Him. What did positioning myself upon the Rock, near the Rock, and by the Rock require?
So, just like that! I have a new word study!
Using the NIV translation, I found 117 ways that the word trust is used in the Old Testament. In the New Testament, there are just 19 times that trust is found using the NIV translation. As a result, I’ll be studying this new word until the end of the year.
Considering my current life circumstances of waiting upon a biopsy and its results, and journeying forward as a cancer survivor regardless what happens next week, trust is a good word for me to focus upon for the remainder of the year, don’t you think?
Even though I feel a little tender this morning, I remain resolute in my trust of my God and I am eager to learn more about trust in His word.
So, let’s get started! Here is the first mention of the word trust in the NIV:
And when the Israelites saw the mighty hand of the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant. Exodus 14:31 NIV
This verse got me thinking hard and fast.
When do we first trust God?
When He does something significant for us?
And when He doesn’t do something that we want? Does that mean we stop trusting?
For the Israelites, they had just witnessed the miraculous parting of the Red Sea that ultimately separated and protected them from Egypt; the land of their slavery and oppression. The sight of this amazing, jaw-dropping work truly impacted this people. They feared the LORD. They put their trust in God.
Trust, in this case, comes from the Hebrew transliterated word Aman. Aman meant to stand firm, to rely upon, to trust, to be certain and to believe. The new Israelite nation chose to respond with trust and belief to what the LORD had done on their behalf.
When God acted, this people confirmed their faith and trust in Him.
What happens then when God does not seem to act or appears silent? What then?
As we know from the Israelites trek in the desert, their belief and trust ebbed and flowed with the wind-blown desert sand. Every step that took them further away from the Red Sea and from the land of their oppression affected their memory of God’s care and protection. They would forget the impact and impression of God’s miraculous works on their behalf. Instead of remaining firm in their faith, this people would doubt, grumble and complain against their God for the next 40 years; with the majority failing to reach the PromiseLand at all.
Based upon their life experience, our trust and faith in the LORD is centered on something more than God doing something significant for us. For trust to endure and to remain firm and steadfast, an “and when” moment is not enough.
What is your ‘and when’ hope in God? We have them, don’t we?
A New Job?
A New Start?
A New Home?
A Birth of a Child?
Healing from Cancer?
Getting into College?
Salvation for Some One We Love?
The list goes on and on, doesn’t it?
And when God does this or that for us in a significant ‘only God’ type of way, that’s when we will fear and trust God? Or more so? That’s when we’ll know that He really has our needs and concerns at heart and that He really cares for us? Is that what trust in God is really about?
And now that I have another cancer scare to deal with, what does this mean for me and my trust and dependence upon my God?
The biopsy outcome could go a few different ways this week. The microcalcifications could be cancer-linked. The microcalcifications could be benign. Or the microcalcifications could be dead; killed by the radiation treatment last year. Is my trust of God dependent upon any of these results?
And when we learn the results, what then?
Will I remain fast and firm in my trust of my God no matter which outcome is presented?
I pray that my next ‘and when’ trust moment with God finds me truly trusting in Him.